Time for an update....

So much has been happening, let me get started.

As most of you know, I've been taking a break from chemo for the last 2 months.  I wasn't recuperating as fast as I should have so Dr. Eaton and I agreed that it was time to let my body rest.  A couple of weeks ago I had a CT scan of my chest and it showed no new growth in my lungs (even though I haven't been getting any treatment).  As you can imagine, I was overjoyed.  The only problems I complained about were more frequent headaches and my vision is blurry some of the time.  Dr. Eaton ordered a brain MRI to check things out since I hadn't had one in 6 months or so.  The MRI came back showing that the tumors in my brain were growing and a new one had reared it's ugly head.  It was decided at that time that I would go see a neurosurgeon at the University of Washington.  That appointment was today.  Here's what I know about my brain.  Dr. Rockhill (my brain doc) sees 4 spots in my brain that need to be destroyed.  So, next Thursday I'll be going to Harborview for a procedure called Gamma Knife where they will screw 4 bolts into my head with stabilizers to keep my head from moving and shoot 192 beams of radiation at each of the 4 spots.  Before I go in for the actual radiation, they will give me another MRI (with really small slices of the brain) to see if they can locate any other unusual areas.  If so, they will gamma knife those as well.  All 3 of the kids went to the appointment today to listen and ask questions.  We all agreed that this is the safest and best solution for me at this time.  (They are going to try really hard not to destroy any of my good brain matter since that doesn't work all the time anyway)  OK, enough about cancer.

After the appointment, I took the kids out for lunch and for pedicures.  They had all taken the day off to go to the doctor's visit so I thought they could use a little treat.  Even Jacob joined in the fun willingly.  He wasn't too embarrassed (he was the only guy in the place).  More men should get their feet done...

Kelly and I have been working diligently getting ready for Relay for Life.  The theme this year is Stampede against cancer so we're working on our cowboy theme.  We're looking forward to seeing all our friends, family and fellow survivors.

This past weekend, 8 of us girls who graduated from Stanwood High School got together over at Desert Aire.  We had a blast.  My dear friend Cindy (who also has a house over there) was the hostess for all of us.  The food, fun and friendship was immeasurable.  I can't wait to do it again next year..and the year after that...and the year after that (if you get my point :).  My best friend from high school, Kathi, stayed with me at my house and we talked about life all weekend long.  It wasn't a kegger, but that didn't stop the party from being dull.

Amy has moved into the townhouse she bought on Beacon Hill.  I got to see it last Monday and it's adorable.  She is on the hill right by a park that overlooks Safeco and Quest fields, Elliott Bay and the city of Seattle.  She loves the location for both of her jobs.  I'm really happy for her.  Now if the rest of her furniture would get delivered :)

Jake's knee is healing very well after his accident on the basketball court.  He and Megan are getting a new puppy.   The dog is a yellow lab and his name will be Mac.  I'll post photos once he's born.  I keep telling them I watched Marley and Me...but they tell me not to worry.  Their doggy will be in obedience classes as soon as he's old enough.  Good luck kids...

Angie was named "Teacher of the Year" at her school.  She just attended a dinner put on by the Marysville School District to honor the teachers from each school who won the award.  I'm really proud of her.  If you had a chance to see her teach, you'd be proud too.

I hope I got you caught up on my "One Life to Live" saga.  We're all doing great. According to Dr. Eaton's orders... I only do things that "BRING ME JOY".

Always dreaming BIG,
Dor

Happy Easter

I woke up this morning to a beautiful sunny sky, the smell of fresh cut grass (thanks to my neighbor boy) and a smile on my face.  It doesn't get much better than this.

I had a wonderful week in Spokane (I rode over with Amy who was working there all week) visiting with my friends Bob and Dy and just spending quality time with Amy each evening.  We ate at Amy's favorite restaurant, the Elk, twice while we were there.  She could have gone there each night but thought that might be overkill.  I spent all day Wednesday with Dy and we had a great visit. 

Tomorrow I'll get to see all the kids and I'm really looking forward to that.  Enjoy your day with your families and I hope you find lots of Easter eggs.

While doing work around the house this morning, I noticed this magnet on my fridge.  I hadn't read it in a long time and after I did, I thought...you need to share that with the people you love.  So, my advice for the day:

live with intention.
walk to the edge.
listen hard.
practice wellness.
play with abandon.
laugh.
choose with no regret.
continue to learn.
appreciate your friends.
do what you love.
live as if this is all there is.

And my contribution....Dream Big.
Love, Dor

Happy Spring?

I'm optimistic that we'll soon be enjoying sunshine and flowers.  I'm a big dreamer so I can wait!

So much has been going on with my family I thought it only appropriate that I give you some updates.  Where to begin?  I'm taking a "BREAK" from chemo.  After a long discussion with my oncologist about chemo sucking the life out of me, he said I could take some time off.  Externally, I feel great.  Internally, I have no idea what's going on, but we'll continue to do scans to make sure the cancer doesn't go rampant.  If so, we'll go back to some kind of treatment plan.  We're even talking about possibly trying Tarceva again.  My body liked it the first time I tried it...maybe it will be kind to me again?  I really do feel better than I have in months.  Of course, I still have a cough and a little fatigue but that's to be expected. 

Just recently, Jacob was playing basketball at the Davis Carlson memorial "Hoops for Davis" event.  He went up to block a shot, came down on his leg wrong and blew out his knee.  He had surgery last Monday to replace his ACL and repair both meniscus's.  He's in great hands with a wife who's a physical therapist.  I went up and "babysat" him a couple of days after surgery when Megan had to go back to work.  He's doing so much better already.   He's missed his classes of kids so I know he's getting ready to head back to work on Monday. 

Amy was promoted to Major in the Air Force.  It was a long time coming (the government has some other things on it's plate right now).  I know it was well deserved..  She also purchased an adorable townhouse in Seattle that she gets to move into later this month.   Besides all of this...she is traveling constantly with her job on the Counter Drug Task Force.    During all this hectic time, the American Cancer Society put a contest on to raise the most money in 10 days for Relay for Life. The winner would receive an Ipad.  Any of you who know Amy...she took the challenge on like a gang buster and won the Ipad raising over $4,100 in those ten days.  Thanks to all of you who contributed to our team. 

I feel bad sometimes when I write all these amazing things about my kids but they are "amazing" so I can't help it.  Angie was just named Educator of the Year at her school.  I know I've mentioned this before, but she is so fun to watch in action...no wonder she was nominated.  Angie just returned from a conference in San Diego and a spring break trip to Vegas.  They were both well deserved and much needed breaks for her.  Lucky girl.   I barely make it out of Stanwood! 

The first of April marked the one year anniversary of Rick's death.  I can't believe how quickly time has passed.  I still miss him terribly but I know he's in a better place and out of pain.  I've finally gone through his things and donated them to great causes.  It wasn't an easy task to do, but with Kelly's help we were able to get it done in a couple of days and it turned out to be pretty painless.

As you can tell, I'm really proud of my children and all that they've accomplished.   I'm so blessed!

Thanks to all of you for your love and support (and especially your patience with my blog writing). 

As always...I'm dreaming big,
Dor

Where were you when the world stopped turning?

Well, you had to know this was coming.  Sometimes I feel like writing, most of the time I don't.  Tonight it will flow out of me with ease.  It's hard to believe that tomorrow will mark the one year anniversary since my dad passed away.  Even as I say it, it doesn't sound real.  The year has gone by so quickly.

Today, many friends made comments about tomorrow.  Although tomorrow marks a milestone, tonight marks a milestone as well.  April 1st is the day my dad died, but March 31st is the night I grew up.  I always wondered if I was "ready" for the day to come.  I wasn't.  Nobody is.

After dad's passing we discussed how Angie didn't make it home in time and how sad that was for all of us.  What we didn't talk about was what it was like for those of us who were here.  It wasn't as though the night of the 31st was horrible.  My dad was sleeping.  He didn't appear to be in any pain.  He seemed fairly peaceful.  The hard part was trying to convince everyone to go home for the night, and for those of us left behind to try and get some sleep.

It was late when everyone crawled into bed, attempting to get some rest.  None of us knew if my dad was going to make it thru the night.  Every bedroom had baby monitor radios in them so we could call for help.  It's probably fair to say that not much sleeping took place that night.  As mom crawled into bed next to my dad she was sad and started to cry.  She told me she hated the idea of waking up and finding that he had passed away.  I promised her that no matter what, I would not let that happen.  I brought one of the hard wooden chairs from the kitchen table into the bedroom and set next to their bed.  I sat in that chair, in the dark, with my laptop to keep me awake, and I watched my dad.  I listened for a different breathing pattern.  I watched for anything out of the ordinary.

As the sun began to come up, I'm guessing 6:30 the next morning, Melana took over so I could close my eyes for a few minutes before the hospice team arrived.  One year ago today, was a night I will never forget.

I miss my dad terribly.  I miss his smirks and I miss his smart ass comments.  I miss seeing him in his chair.  I know without a doubt, he is in a better place than he was toward the end, but being without your dad is tough.

So, on the eve of his one year anniversary, I just want to thank all of our friends and family who have made the past year, a year of remembering and personal growth.  And I would like to give a special thank you to Skagit hospice for their care and guidance the past week of my dad's life.  We will never be able to thank them enough.

With fond memories,
Amy

Extreme Fatigue

Wow...With my little infection battle and my last dose of chemo, I'm feeling fatigue like I've never felt it before.  If I get settled into a chair, or with my head too close to a pillow, I'm out for the count.  No kidding.  I'm asleep before I even know it. 

It was nice to see the compliments from all my friends concerned about where I've been (since the last blog).  I guess I didn't realize how interested you are when we just sort of vanish from the computer.   Thank you for your love.

Well, I think I'm going to head back into bed for a while and rest before dinner.  My friend Gail is coming over to spend the night and bring dinner.  Can you say spoiled?

Love you more,
Dor

Heartfelt Apology for slacking on the blog.

Sorry it's taken so long to write another blog.  I just didn't have much to say, so writing "just for the heck of it" wasn't the reason we set this format up.  I wanted to write with news to tell or wisdom to share.

Just wanted to let you know that I had scans last week and I got the results today.  This chemo that I've been on is keeping the cancer cells stable.  I'm hoping it continues to do it's job for many months/years to come.  Who would have known that I would still be here after almost 5 years? 

My white count was on the rise today so I went on a new antibiotic to help clear up an upper respiratory infection and a bladder infection.  Something new to worry about :)

I'll write again soon ... I promise.

As always, Dreaming Big,
Doreen

STABLE AGAIN...YAHOO!

The CT test results came back stable again so I'll continue with this chemo routine for at least 2 more months.  My side (lower lung) pain is starting to come back so we're adjusting my meds to see if that helps my pain and cough.  Last time the new concoction worked miracles so I say "give it a go". 

Kelly took me down to Seattle on Monday for tests and Tuesday for chemo.  Since we arrived in the big city early we decided to go to Pike Place Market.  Neither of us had been there in a while so it was fun looking around and buying fresh foods and trinkets. 

My cough woke me up this morning which is why you're getting the blog so early.  I think I'll take some meds, get something to drink then head back to bed for a little bit.  I'm staying at Angie's for a couple of days while I recuperate ... just realized I forgot my anti-nausea pills.   Hopefully, 7-up will calm my tummy.

Love you more,
Dor  

January Upate

The new year has been good to us (minus Angie's root canal and bad knee).  Amy has been traveling a lot, Jake is coaching 8th grade varsity boys basketball, chemo has been kind to me so far (the same sore joints and a little fatigue but that's easy enough to work with).

Relay for Life is coming again in May.  Watch for times, information and fundraisers.  I'll keep you posted.

I'm due for a new scan on Monday the 24th then chemo again on the 25th.  I sure wish I had Rick around to go to these tests with me.   It always felt better to share it with each other.  I know he's with me at my appointments in spirit, but it's just not the same.  I'm so thankful I have friends and family who go with me.  I really am lucky to have so much love around me when I need it most. 

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Happy New Year

Tomorrow starts another round of chemo, so I thought I would write you all a note to wish you a wonderful new year (just in case I don't get back to the computer for a few days).  I've been feeling good the past couple of weeks so it's been a joyous holiday season.

I've had a few fun days ringing in the new year.  On New Year's Eve, I went to Jake and Megan's and we had fondue with her parents and her brother and his girlfriend, then I came home and the girls met me.  We played a little Wii then watched the countdown together.  New Year's Day was spent with Kelly, her family and mine (minus Jake and Meg) watching the Rose Bowl game and eating lots of good food. 

My sister in law, Vickie is taking me to Seattle tomorrow for my treatment.  She's always a lot of fun to be around so I'm looking forward to that part of my day.  Once I have the chemo, I'm usually just a little nauseous and tired.  I can deal with both of those things :)

Have a safe and healthy new year with your loved ones and keep dreaming big,
Doreen

No more tears

Amy shared my crying secrets with all of you on Monday so, I need to assure you that the crying has stopped.  For now :)  I never knew my heart could hurt so much after 8 months but I found that love has no time limits.  This first holiday season without my "Ricky" is going to be a rough one.  Lucky for me,  I have amazing kids surrounding me to help ease the pain. 
I got great news today from PEBB and it looks like I am going to qualify for retirement medical insurance.  I need to see a piece of paper that assures me of my eligibility but everyone I've talked to at the PEBB office has given me the thumbs up.  What a relief to know that my insurance will go on without any glitches.  A big thanks to all of you who helped make this happen. 

Tomorrow night I'm going to the 5th Avenue to see "The Christmas Story" (Ralphie, you can't have a BB gun... you'll shoot your eye out) with Amy and Melana and Melana's Mom.  The girls are taking us to dinner before the show at an amazing restaurant called Purple in downtown Seattle.  I'm really looking forward to a fun night out on the big town.

It's almost past my bedtime so, nighty night.

Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Water Works

Today, mom cried.  And then she cried.  And then she cried some more.  Every time I talked to her on the phone she began to cry, and then she got frustrated with herself.  She was overwhelmed and simply couldn't control her tear ducts.  If you called mom today, odds are pretty good that you experienced the same thing I did.

I tried to remind her that it is ok to get emotional.  I also tried to remind her that she has been really strong for a really long time, and everyone is bound to break sometimes.  She told me that she wasn't frustrated with her situation, she is frustrated with herself for being emotional when she knows how blessed she is.

Our long couple of weeks dealing with insurance issues got even worse today when Angie called the PEBB people to check on the status of mom's insurance packet.  The lady said she didn't know anything about her packet, which was submitted last week.  After an hour on the phone with the lady who had no intention of showing empathy, let alone going out of her way to help, Angie found out that the form we submitted last week wasn't the form they wanted us to submit.  When Angie expressed the need to speed up the process, the woman told her to watch for the packet in approximately 7 days.  I can only imagine how frustrated Angie must have been.  Dor has 11 days to get this insurance problem finalized... but the lady was adamant that the packet needed to be mailed instead of emailed or picked up in person.  So, that's where we sit.  Another long, frustrating day for the Schmitt family.

With elevated anxiety-
Amy

Here's what's happening...

Mom spent the night in Seattle last night with her friends Cathy and Kim (after a CT scan and a little Christmas shopping).  They got up early today for a doctor's appointment and chemo.  Her scan came back stable, so that's good news.  She will stay on the same chemo drug for the time being, and continue to focus on the day to day things that bring her happiness.

She came home from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance this afternoon and has been resting ever since.  She seems to be more exhausted than normal, but then again, she has a lot on her mind lately.  Hopefully she will get some rest and wake up feeling better tomorrow.

Dreaming Big-
Amy

New Concerns

We have been concerned with "medical" issues the past few years but luckily we haven't had to think about medical insurance... until now.  Mom has been on Cobra since dad passed away in April.  She can continue to stay on cobra, but there are some other issues that have come up now.  To make a long story short... we will have our hands full for the next few weeks to make sure she begins 2011 with adequate medical insurance.

I see stress in our very near future....
Amy

Sharpen your Saw...

It has been a while since I have taken the time to sit down and write a blog.  It's not for lack of participation, I simply don't know what to say.  I know that as a family, we have transitioned from the daily blog entries into the occasional quick update... and we get emails about our lack of information being posted all the time.  Many of you wish we would write more, and to be honest, it can be a bit therapeutic so I am going to try to do a better job of sharing.

This week, I am in Las Vegas for work.  I am here observing an instructor teach the class "7 Habits of Highly Effective People."  I flew down here expecting to hear some touchy-feely information about how to live a better life... but I was wrong.  This was a fantastic course that made me open my eyes, and my heart. It was a wake up call for me.  I wasn't even one of the students in the class but I think I got more out of the class than most people did.  I won't get into the details of the course but I want to touch on the 7th habit.  After listening to all of the good points throughout the week, he presented the final habit as "sharpening the saw".  It is so true.  He was speaking to me.  He was speaking to my entire family.  The message is that sometimes we continue to work so hard at what we are doing and we become too focused on trying harder that we are no longer being efficient or effective.  When you do the same repetitive things for 4 years, and you become exhausted physically and mentally, stop and take care of the saw.  Take care of yourself.  We can't continue at the pace we are moving without expecting something to break.

Not a day goes by when we aren't reminded of how loved we are.  And, not a day goes by when we aren't stopped in the grocery store or the bank, to get a hug and words of affirmation.  Unfortunately, for those of us who have lost loved ones to this disease, words can't take away the loss of the ones we miss. They also can't slow down the cancer cells that are working hard to take other people that you hold so close to your heart.  We continue to experience a genuine sense of helplessness.  I would do anything to take the physical pain away from my mom.  But just as importantly, I would do anything to take the pain away from my Grandparents eyes.  I wish I could provide Angie with the missing pieces that she needs to fully grasp what she missed during the last two days of my father's life.  I know that she struggles with not being there for it.  I wish I could take some of the expectations off of my brother.  There is a fine line between wanting to be like my dad, and feeling as though he needs to replace my dad.  I'm not sure where my brother is mentally or emotionally, but I think he carries a bigger load than he has to sometimes and I think it's because he is trying to fill my dad's shoes.  All he needs to do is focus on being the healthiest Jake he can be.

As for mom, she hasn't written lately because there isn't much to say.  We all learned a long time ago, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".  I think that's where she is.  She doesn't have anything upbeat or happy to talk about so she focuses on the little things that bring her happiness each day, not the blog.  We can't blame her for that.  She has been coughing much more lately.  She has been in more pain.  She gets over-heated quickly, which has caused her bedroom to become her own private snow cave.  Her sliding glass door to the deck is open, her windows are open, and her fan is blowing cold air in her face.  As much as we try to be upbeat, and optimistic, I've got to tell you.... this is a miserable disease that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Yesterday was national Pay it Forward day... or so I read on google.  With that being said, I think we can all do more to make everyday pay it forward day.  We all have so much negativity and get caught up in the small things.  If we focus on the things that matter most in this world, and view every situation as a win-win instead of a competition where someone has to win and someone has to lose.... we will all be in a much better place.  If we aren't working to make everyone's life a better place, we are missing our calling folks.  Rake the leaves of the elderly couple next door.  Bring your secretary coffee in the morning, and don't judge other people because you have no idea what their life is like.  Always say please and thank you.  Smile more often, and always give more than you take.

The Schmitt family is fine.  We are going to get back to the basics.  We are going to stop and sharpen our saw for a little while so we can take care of the things that matter most in this world.  In the mean time, go do something nice and unexpected for someone else.  You never know, you might just start a positive ripple effect in the life of many people.

 Sending warm holiday wishes from our family to yours-
Amy

Feeling Under the Weather

This hasn't been one of my finer weeks in the health department.  Just getting to chemo this past week was a hazardous chore with the weather (rain, snow, sleet, ice, and more snow) so Mom, Dad and I spent the night at a hotel near Cancer Care for safety's sake.  Since my chemo on Tuesday, I've been feeling awful with a horrible cough, troubles breathing and fatigue.  I've had someone spend the night with me nearly every night this week to help out with the anxiety of not getting adequate air.  It's very scary to struggle for your breath.  Eventually, I know it will come back, but it's nice to have someone by my side patting my back assuring me that everything will be ok.  I still have a terrible cough but it finally feels like it might be breaking up.  Perhaps I'm on the mend just in time to start all over again :)

Mom and Dad took me for a ride today (just to get out of the house).  After days of being stuck inside from the weather, then the chemo I was ready to see a little blue sky and enjoy what sunshine came peeking through the clouds.

Amy is off for another week in Vegas with her military job.  I think she's been gone more than she's been home since this job started.  Have a safe journey Amy and I'll see you in a week.

I'm going to be needing your help one of these days because we're nominating Angie as P.E. teacher of the year.  The award is nationwide and she will win 10,000 dollars for her school and some other neat prizes.  I'll tell you all the details later.  I know with your help we'll get the word out about how deserving she is.

It's time for me to head off to bed.  I haven't been sleeping well lately, so when I get the urge to close my eyes...I need to go for it.

Dreaming Big,
Dor

A few more photos from a fabulous weekend....

Kelly and I on the big screen as she receives her award.

 Lisa Molina, Me and Bonnie at breakfast on Friday morning.  Amazing ladies who've changed my life.

San Francisco Memories

We returned this afternoon from a wonderful trip to San Francisco where we participated in a weekend full of adventures, laughs and making memories. The girls, Scott and Kelly spent Friday shopping and exploring the Fisherman's Wharf while I had the opportunity to visit with Bonnie and our other friend Lisa. We had lunch, shopped and laughed...a lot! If not for the wheelchair and the oxygen tank I would have forgotten all about Lung Cancer for that hour or two. I love those ladies and am thankful that I had the chance to spend quality time with them.

Saturday night was the Lung Cancer Gala. We spent some time during the day helping decorate for the event and then spent a little more time getting ourselves ready to go. It seems like simple tasks such as getting dressed and  doing my hair and make-up now wear me out. I was ready for a nap before we left my hotel room. I was so proud to have been able to introduce Kelly as the "Caregiver of the Year" at the event. She received a large ovation and she deserved every bit of it. The evening was a huge success, with an enormous about of money having been raised for Bonnie's foundation.

After the Gala on Saturday night, Kathryn Joosten from Desperate Housewives came up to my hotel room to hang out with me and the girls. She is hilarious and had us laughing the entire time. She is a two time Lung Cancer survivor and a supporter of Bonnie's foundation.

As much as I loved our trip, I am happy to be home and plan to rest up over the next few days. I have attached a few photos from our weekend. Enjoy!

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Change of Plans (again)

My chemo plans have changed again.  I've gone back on the Alimta plan which is a plan I was on for 28 weeks earlier this year.  I began having severe pain during the time I was on it so we had to make some different arrangements, ie. take me off it and put me on some new pain meds and a new kind of chemo.  But for now, we are sticking with the Alimta and a new kind of pain medicine.  The only problems I've come across are a bad case of feeling overwhelmed from the steroids and needing tums every couple of hours.  I can deal with both of those set backs.

I'm getting excited about next weeks plans in San Francisco.  The only kids not going on the trip this year are Jake and Megan but I understand Megan has her new job and Jake just started up coaching basketball again on Monday.  Busy lives for busy bodies, maybe they can can make it again next year.

I've been using  a wheel chair to get around lately (it really helps keep my breathing under control), I also find that sitting with a fan directly in my face seems to give me a greater sense of air flow.  I don't like any of these devices, but if they work, I need to face reality and just do what works best for me.

It's time for me to get off the computer and think about something for dinner.  Yogurt and cereal?  Maybe...

Sending lots of love to all my friends.

Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Wine Tasting for a Cure

What a night! Roughly 80 friends and family members gathered at Wine Styles in Marysville tonight to taste wine for a lung cancer fundraiser. The Schmitt family would like to thank everyone who participated in the event, donated to our fundraising efforts or sent well wishes. Our event was a huge success having raised $2,230 for the Bonnie J. Addario Lung Cancer Foundation.

In addition to raising money, we also celebrated something else tonight. Kelly Lloyd, Mom's amazing caregiver was informed that she has been selected as the first annual "Caregiver Award" through Bonnie's foundation. Our family nominated her by writing a letter and sending it off to a committee for review. Not only did she beat out the other 38 nominated caregivers, she won the award unanimously! We are so lucky to have you in our lives Kelly! She will receive her award at the gala in San Francisco next month. Congrats!

Dreaming of brighter tomorrows!

Angie

Adventures from the Pumpkin Patch

In the spirit of Mom's least favorite holiday, Halloween, we went on a family field trip to the Stocker Farms Pumpkin Patch in Snohomish today. After much anticipated corn dogs at the concession stand we entered the gates to pumpkin heaven! We laughed a lot, took tons of pictures, found the "perfect" pumpkins to take home and left just as the rain began to fall.

We stopped by the cemetery on the way back to Stanwood and left a little pumpkin there for Dad. Mom began to feel under the weather so we took her home and got her into her pajamas. After another hour of laughing on her bed and eating Halloween candy we called it a day and headed home.

Amy and Mel are carving pumpkins at our house tonight while drinking wine, baking pumpkins seeds and working on a jigsaw puzzle. Of course we have the UW football game on in the background. With Dad's love for his children, football and jigsaw puzzles, he would have loved it here tonight...

We hope you enjoy the photos from our adventures at the Pumpkin Patch. We sure had a great time!

Dreaming Big-

Angie & Amy

Treatment Delayed

Mom and Aunt Vickie stayed at our house in Edmonds last night in order to shorten their trip to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance this morning. I noticed that mom looked very tired when they arrived at the house and she just didn't have much energy. After blood work results today we know why... her counts are low and she is anemic. They said she was close to needing a blood transfusion. As of now they sent her home, without having her scheduled chemo treatment, and rescheduled her chemo for next Tuesday. As expected, the doctor is very serious about us limiting mom's number of guests for the next few days. With her counts being as low as they are she could pick up an illness that her body simply can't fight off. Dr. Eaton also required all of her caregivers to get a flu shot and asked us to stay out of mom's house until we do so. As of right now we have face masks, hand sanitizers and other precautionary items at the front door of the house for visitors. If you find it important to stop by and visit mom this week please help us keep her home free of germs.

Thanks again for your continued support, love and understanding.

Dreaming Big,
Angie

New Game Plan

All 3 of the kids joined me at my doctor's visit today to hear about  my choices as we enter the next phase of this journey.  I can always go back to 2 of the chemos I've been on before (they didn't do a lot...but they slowed the growth down a little) or I can try a new new drug called Navelbine that may or may not do the trick, but we'll never know if we never try. I'll go to the clinic once a week for blood work, doctor's appointment then an infusion. I'll do this for 3 weeks in a row then have a week off.  I won't get scanned again for 2 months.  After that, we'll check it out to see if the progression has stopped or at least slowed down.  I'm running out of options  at this point, so let's just keep thinking positive thoughts about Navelbine...you never know....it could be my new TARCEVA :)

While waiting for the doc this morning, we had the nurse take a new family photo.  Not bad for 4 worried faces?

Dreaming Big,

Dor

Great Weekend then Disappointment

I just spent a great weekend at Desert Aire with my sister in law, Vickie.  We laughed and slept, then laughed and ate, then laughed some more.  It was just what I needed before I start the clinical trial.

At my doctor's visit I learned that I will begin the trial this Friday (at which time I will also learn which trial I will actually be on...with or without Tarceva)  The first day is a long process.  Blood work, appointment, take pills, play around for 3 or 4 hours, come back and do more blood work and EKG...then go home.  That process is only once a month.  Otherwise, it's pills only at home.  I'm looking forward to getting something started.  Although there was little growth in the tumors in my lymph nodes, there was lung capacity loss in both lungs and more signs of cancer in the middle right lobe, and bottom lobes of both lungs.  I'm ready for that kind of growth to stop.

Today I'm babysitting my grand dog at Angie's.  Susie (the cutest granddog around) has an ear infection and she needed some extra lovin', so who better than me?  Actually, they've moved into a new neighborhood and when she doesn't feel good or gets anxious she tends to bark more.  The new neighbors don't like that so I told the girls I would stay at their house and keep her inside with me.

As I was writing this blog, I just got a call from Dr. Eaton in Seattle.  He informed me that they discovered during one of my trials (at another hospital), I took a drug that disqualifies me from this study.  I'm sitting here in shock.  I had it all figured out.  This was the trial that was going to do the trick.  I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it.  He was disappointed too when he called.  Thursday is his day off from patients, so he is going to study my case all day with some of his colleagues and try to find a new game plan.  Sometimes we just don't get what we wish for.

I'll continue to DREAM BIG...
Love, Doreen

Good News

They were able to take the tissue from my last biopsy to use for this case study so I get to skip that portion of the trial.  On Friday, I have a full body CT, bloodwork and an EKG.  After the study group looks at all my information, I will begin the trial the first week of October.  I won't know until then which "arm" of the trial I will be on....with or without Tarceva. 

The house at Desert Aire is officially sold.  I'm so happy to have that responsibility off my back.  I'm looking forward to heading over to the Desert just to enjoy house number 2.  Yahoo!

Keep Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Tumor Growth :) :(

Sorry I didn't let you know the outcome sooner...but here is what I know.  There is tumor growth in my lungs which qualifies me for the trial.  The next step is a new lung biopsy (they are deciding which kind to perform), then a few more tests just to make sure I'm still a good patient.  I'll keep you posted on what the next step is after that, so for now...let's just think positive thoughts and BELIEVE.  My emotions are still mixed but I'm happy to know I'm moving in some direction and they have a plan.

Getting ready to watch the Storm game again tonight.  Let's hope they win tonight and sweep Atlanta in the finals.  :)  Go Storm!

Dreaming Gigantic,
Dor

Mixed emotions

My doctors visit started out fairly routine.  "Blood pressure, fine, temp fine, by the way the clinical trial you've been waiting for finally opened up yesterday....."  I was so excited to hear the great news.  This is the trial that is suppose to work well on people who had success with Tarceva, and we all know that Tarceva was my middle name for 2 and a half years.  All of this sounds so promising, so you ask "what's the problem?"  Although I've signed all the paperwork for the trial and everything looks good, if my cancer has not grown at all in the past couple of months, I can't be a candidate.  Only people with cancer growth can join the trial.  I know it will be awesome if the cancer has not grown at all (that's what we're always wishing for) but if I miss out on this trial now and the cancer starts growing in 2 months...the trial could be closed to new participants by then.  I now that sounded like a bunch of jibberish so in a few words it means....I need the cancer to have grown (JUST A LITTLE) so I don't miss this opportunity.  I can't believe I've even said those words but in the cancer world, timing is everything.  I'm scheduled for a new CT scan next Tuesday so they can make their decision about me.

I learned yesterday that Jordan Nursery (a local plant farm in my town) is naming one of their new varieties of fuchsias after me.  So, next year you can buy a "Doreen" and hang me on your porch if you'd like.  It is light pink with a white middle and  magenta pokie things in the center.  On the 25th and 26th of September they are having "Bloomfest" (or something like that) so people can see all their varieties of fuchsias and Martha Washington geraniums for next year.  Mine will be on display that day too :)

I'm fighting a  headache right now so I think I'll go put my jammies on and call it a night.  Thank you for all your love and prayers.

Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Dr. Visit

I'm up earlier than usual today....couldn't sleep....I have a doctor's visit in Seattle this morning.  I'm not having any scans or tests so I won't learn anything new about what's going on inside my lungs, but I might find out a little more about the clinical trial that's coming up.  I have mixed emotions about it.  I know I need to get in on it when it becomes available, but after a summer of feeling so well, I hate to think about new side effects and not feeling like myself again.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've noticed that I'm getting winded much easier.  It could be, because I'm going a mile a minute and I need to slow down.  The past week a new cough has joined the band wagon as well.  Perhaps I'm just getting my pre-winter cold?

Last night Angie came by for a visit after school and we had a nice snuggle...until I had a meltdown.  I hadn't had a good cry in a long time so it was nice to have her around while I did it. I'm sure I was just a little worried about today, I was missing my Ricky, and just doubting myself and decisions I've had to make by myself.  All normal kinds of grief I'm just glad Angie was here to walk me through it.

I'll keep you posted on today's doctor's visit.  I'm sure everything will go well.

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Just another BUSY day

Today I'm getting my new propane gas stove for the living room.  I'm looking forward to the cleanliness of the propane vs. the wood we're always carrying through the house.  I think it will be better for me to just hit my remote control button and turn my heat on now that I'm wearing oxygen all the time.  I haven't been through a whole winter trying to build a fire with oxygen on my face.  I don't think that's a very good combination.

I'm so excited to go to the Storm game again.  Tonight they've got giveaways but I'm not sure we'll make it there in time to stand in line for a freebie.  Janeen will pick me up after school today and we'll be on our way.  The exciting part about tonight (besides the game) is that Lauren Jackson is the MVP of the WNBA and they are going to announce it tonight at the game.  Don't tell anyone you heard it hear first.... just kidding, it was on the news this morning.

I've been really winded lately even with my oxygen.  I've analyzed it and I think it's because I just rush too much when I'm feeling good.  I think it's time I slow things down a little bit.

My mom broke her foot and is going to see a specialist today.  She has a hard enough time walking with 2 healthy feet, I can't imagine how terrible it will be for her in a cast or whatever they have planned for her.  I think she may be stuck at home for a while in a wheelchair.  Sorry Mom, but that's what happens when you kick my Dad (just kidding...that's how he told me it happened).

I'd better go get dressed before my stove crew gets here.  This green bathrobe is pretty but let's face it, it's not THAT PRETTY.

Dreaming Big,
Dor

It's become "chronic"

The readers of this blog have been spoiled over the years with Mom writing messages on a regular basis and keeping us on the edge of our seats while on this roller coaster ride of a life she is living. We've had times when "the blog" was the first thing we read in the mornings or the last thing we checked before going to bed. Often times I learned about what was happening with my parents from a person who had just read the blog and then ran into me at the grocery store or at a sporting event. I always laughed when someone would give me a thumbs up and say, "Great news today!" I would return their thumbs up and then call Mom to see what she wrote. The blog was a huge part of our everyday life.

As of late, the blog entries are showing up less frequently and seem to have less depth. They have become more of a chore than a desire to write. Mom may not say that but we know it is true. I am writing this entry to remind our loyal readers that cancer has not gone away. Cancer has not stopped interfering with our daily lives. It continues to make its presence known when we see Mom dragging her oxygen tubing around the house or when she has a coughing spell that last only a minute but wipes her out for an hour. Cancer exists but we are becoming experts at ignoring it and living through it.

Mom will be joining me, along with her friend Janeen, at the Seattle Storm playoff game tomorrow night against Phoenix. She has been to quite a few games with me now and we have established a pretty good routine. We take breaks when we need them. We slow our pace to a point where we are not busy hurrying from place to place or thing to thing. Instead, we tell stories. We laugh. We get excited to show our team spirit. We have learned to live with cancer as a chronic illness, rather than a death sentence. That is a line that my Mom wrote in a speech that she gave for the American Cancer Society several years ago. She said, "I look forward to the day when we can treat cancer like a chronic illness rather than a death sentence." I think we are there...

I want to remind our family supporters that life after Dad's death has taken it's toll on our family. Not only on an emotional level but also on a physical level. We had been racing around, going from treatment option to treatment option, never stopping long enough to really deal with the severity of the disease. Now that the storm has passed, we are sitting in a quiet world wondering how it all happened so fast. I know that is true of my Mom as well as us kids. We miss my Dad. We miss his laugh. We miss him giving us a hard time. But I know that doesn't begin to touch on the "miss" that my mom is experiencing.

Thank you friends for your patience while the blog produces entries that are few and far between. Just know that the Schmitt family is still here, still fighting this battle and making memories along the way.

With much love,
Angie

Fantastic Weekend

Vickie and I laughed a ton this weekend about everything and nothing.. I'm so glad to be able to spend quality time with her. We always have fun.

Rick's headstone arrived this weekend while I was gone.  What a surprise to see it standing yesterday when we arrived home.  I have attached two photos.

It still looks like everything is going well for the sale of Desert Aire house #1.  The few little items that needed to be fixed were completed by our cousin (and contractor) Kelly.  He had been working on Angie's house remodel, but she let me steal him away for a couple of days so I could stay on top of the sale.  The new owners-to-be would like ownership on or before the19th of September.  I would love for them to have it earlier....September is one of my favorite times over there. I'm sure they will love it too!

I'm going to the Seattle Storm game tomorrow night....first playoff game for the undefeated (at home) Storm Women.  Janeen and I are going along with Angie.  Shannon is doing a great job working for the Seattle Storm as yesterday she was promoted  to Vice President of Marketing...Her marketing strategies are amazing. I am so proud of her!

 Look for us on TV....

Keep Dreaming Big,

Dor

Lovin' Life

Greetings from Desert Aire!

I am spending a nice weekend with my sister-in-law Vickie, over here at the Desert Aire house.  I need to get over here more often.  It really does bring a smile to my face when I'm here.

I plan to enjoy the warm weather and visit with the neighbors for the next few days.  I won't be on the computer so please know that all is well in our world and I will check in with everyone when I get home.

Enjoy your weekend-
Dor

No Excuses

I was going to tell you it's too hot to write a blog (but that would be a lie...my computer room is one of the coolest rooms in the house), I was going to tell you I haven't been feeling well (and that would have worried all of you...and it too would have been a lie).  TRUTH if you want to hear it, I've been having fun.  Maybe a little too much.  Dave and Val were here all last week so we were on the go nearly every day.  I spent the night at Angie and Shannon's house (it's looking really cute) on Friday night, then Amy and Melana spent the night with me on Saturday.  I went to breakfast with the girls on Sunday morning, then to my great uncles 95th birthday party yesterday afternoon.  My Mom, Dad and Aunt drug Val, Dave and I to the casino one day last week.  Thank goodness it wasn't very smokey and I didn't lose a lot of money.  It was kind of fun, but I'll bet it's a lot more fun when you win something. :)

I really have been feeling physically great lately.  My heart still hurts when I have Ricky on my mind, only now I allow myself to laugh at some of the fun memories we shared. 

I'm hoping and praying that the Desert Aire house sells.  We have new buyers and I would love to have them be our neighbors.  They are relatives of some friends of ours.  Could be just what we needed.

I'm starting to have a hot flash or heat wave so I'd better call it a day.  Sorry to disappoint you when I don't write, but please know that it's probably because I'm out having fun. :)

Love you more than all the little blue plastic pools I saw in people's yard this afternoon....maybe I should invest in one of those?

Dream Big,
Doreen

GREAT NEWS....

The results of my scans came back (I'm almost perfect...ok, not really but...) the cancer in my lungs is stable and the tumors in my brain have continued to shrink or stay the same.  With this news comes another break from chemo and I am pleased.  I'm feeling so good right now....if I was any better there would be 2 of me :)

The only bad news I heard today was, the buyers of Desert Aire pulled out of the sale...I have a back up plan however so maybe it won't be as bad as I thought.  If you read this Len, give me a call :)

Dream Big,
Doreen

Happy Sunday

I haven't been sleeping well lately (night time is the worst for me...too much time to think about missing Rick) but last night I slept like a baby.  I feel rested and ready for a relaxed, healthy, happy day.

This entire week I've been on the go.  This is the life I was intended to live.  Not the one where I lay in bed all day feeling goofy or in pain.  Thanks to all of you who are helping me start to feel normal again.  I had a fabulous time on the boat celebrating Rick's birthday, a great evening at Shelley's house on Friday night celebrating her birthday, and a fun day yesterday with my parents and my Aunt Carol grocery shopping and out for lunch. 

Tomorrow is a big day at SCCA.  A brain MRI and a CT scan of my chest and abdomen.  If everything stays stable, I'm hoping for another month of "no chemotherapy".  It's amazing how good your body feels when you aren't being fed poison and the pain medication you are taking actually does the job. 

I've got a handful of books that I've been reading lately on how to handle grief.  It's all great advice, I just wish I could follow it.  I find myself picking up the phone to call Rick to share something with him, or roll over in bed looking for him only to find an empty spot.  This morning, I woke up and it felt like someone had been sleeping on my arm all night.  I'd like to believe it was Rick stopping by to let me know everything will be okay.

We're hoping to close the Desert Aire house sale by the 18th of August.  I'll be elated if it all goes as planned.  I need all your good wishes to make this deal happen so please keep thinking good thoughts.

I guess it's time to do a little laundry, tidy up the living room and make my bed.  That sounds like enough work for one day.... :)

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Happy Birthday Dad!

Yesterday would have been my dad's 54th birthday. To celebrate his memories we spent the afternoon on our friend Shelley's boat. Pam Erickson also joined the Schmitt family for this birthday celebration at sea. It is so comforting to have friends who want to see smiles on our faces again. They cooked us a great dinner, played music and topped the night off with a fabulous berry pie! Thank you. We also want to thank Shannon for delivering the birthday balloons to the boat...good thinking.  The weather was beautiful, the fishing was terrible and the stories about dad were ... PRICELESS!

Remembering him with a smile,

Angie

Now that chemo has been removed from my daily diet, I really do feel better.  Since I woke up this morning, I've been fighting a headache.  I would like that to go away because I've got other things to do. :)

Good news....I have a potential buyer for the Desert Aire house (I say potential because I don't want to jinx it)  We're just waiting for the inspection.  The people want it ASAP and I couldn't be happier to hand it over. 

I'm going to go take some tylenol to see if I can get rid of this headache.  I'll try to write more later.

Dream Big,
Dor

Life really is GOOD

I know it's been a while since you've heard from me, but now that I'm feeling so good I can't wait to share my life again.

I've decided that "pain" is not my friend.  Now that it's under control, I realized just how terrible I was feeling.  I told Dr. Eaton on Monday that I was feeling better that I have in a year so can I stop taking the pain medicine?  He reminded me that I was feeling so good because I was taking a combination of pain medicine that was finally working.  Oh, I get it.  Don't change anything if what you're doing is working.

Since I've been feeling so good, I've been doing my best to get out of the house and do fun things.  Tomorrow I'm going to spend the day with my neighbor Lynell then tomorrow night I'll get to see Amy (she's in Iowa with the Air Force).  Yesterday I went to Angie and Shannon's house in Edmonds.  It has so much potential and a back yard that looks like a park.  It's going to be beautiful.  Jake and Megan are all moved into their house and it's darling.  Every time I've stopped by, it gets cuter and cuter.

I can hardly believe that it's been 2 1/2 months since Rick died. Just when I think I'm doing better another "first" happens.  His birthday is coming up the end of July and it makes me sad just thinking about him.  I miss him and his witty attitude, but I feel his presence all the time.

 I'd better go now and start thinking about dinner.  A friend dropped fresh salmon off so that's on tonight's menu along with green beans.  Yum.....

I'll continue to DREAM BIG,
Doreen

Time for a Break...

I know that many people have been waiting to hear the results of Mom's appointment with Dr. Eaton today. According to Jake, they said, "You haven't looked this good in a long time!" They agreed that her quality of life is good right now and that she should "take a break" from chemotherapy and enjoy every minute of July. The plan is to go back for a Brain MRI and CT Scan in early August and re-assess at that time. If the symptoms change or her pain increases then she is supposed to contact their office. Those are the facts. Check the blog later for Mom's vision of where she will go from here.....

Dreaming...
Angie

Happy 4th of July!

I am so glad to be home from the hospital, and I'm ready to see everything I've been missing out on.  My new pain medicine still makes me tired and gives me the feeling of being "drunk" for a few hours after taking it... but overall I feel much better.  It seems to be working for the most part but I know that I'm not always patient with this whole process because I want things to be back to the way it was a few weeks ago.  I think I am heading in that direction though, so that is promising.  

After my 2pm nap on Sunday, Amy and Melana took me out for a coffee and some fresh air.  I requested a quick detour to my favorite little store on Camano Island called "The Spare Room".  Although we had no intention of driving around we decided to keep driving around the island because it's always nice to see the view.

We stopped at Tom & Jana Shaughnessy's house because we knew they were having a little 4th of July party.  I was feeling pretty good so we stayed for a while.  I always have such a nice time with all of those guys.  It's easy to forget that you're sick when they keep you laughing.  I've added a photo of Jana and I just after a plate of fresh cooked crab.  Yummy :)

Hope you had a safe and happy 4th.  I'm glad to be back home in the swing of things.

Dreaming Big,

Doreen 

Oh, Dor... not the Benadryl...

Mom's status has continued to improve while remaining at the University of Washington Medical Center.  Her pain has decreased from a "9 out of 10" to a "3 out of 10".  That is a pretty big change from the Dor who checked into the hospital on Wednesday. 

Mom stopped taking pain meds via her port this evening, which meant she was able to get the bandage removed from her chest.  The only thing she has consistently complained about has been the bandage and how itchy it is.  The bandage has to remain 100% sterile so the same bandage has been on her chest since she checked into SCCA on Tuesday.  She is allergic to a few things... one of which is the cleaning solution they use on her chest prior to accessing the port.  She learned that a while back when she broke out in hives, and had a red, irritated chest.  She is wearing a wristband that lists her allergies. 

Tonight, after they removed the bandage mom took a shower.  When she came back into her hospital room her chest was red, inflamed, and clearly irritated.  A nurse asked mom what she had come into contact with.  They had talked about using hydrocortizone on her chest but there were mixed messages in her records about whether she was allergic to it.  When the nurse asked if she was allergic to it she said, "No, they tested me for it last year.  It came back that I wasn't allergic to hydrocortizone, just Benadryl".  HELLO... she has been complaining for three days about an itchy chest bandage and they have been giving her BENADRYL to relieve it.  None of us knew about the benadryl, and clearly she had forgotten about it until tonight.  SCCA was called and her records have been updated to reflect the allergy.  Between the heavy dosage of pain meds this week... and the multiple shots of Benadryl... she has been a little "coo-coo for coco puffs" (if you know what I mean).

It was nice to see the old Dor back today.  She was still tired but much more alert, feeding herself, and going for walks.  As of now, the plan is to take her home on Saturday if all goes well.  I think she is looking forward to sleeping in her own bed.  There really is, No Place Like Home...

Thanks again for all of your well wishes.

Amy

Newest Plan of Action

We have now been visited by multiple doctors and the plan has been established for the next 36 hours or so. The doctors are happy with her pain management so far. Mom's pain is significantly better than it was on the pain patch last week so we all agree that we are on to something good here. This early evening they are going to discontinue the IV medication that she is currently on and switch her over to a similar acting pain cocktail that comes in liquid form. If she can tolerate the medication and her pain is managed then that will be the medication that she continues at home. If not, they will be sending her home with the IV medication that she is currently on (since they know it works) and it will come in a fanny pack. Although it works well right now, mom wants to avoid that option because she said, "Nothing says 'Check Me Out' like an oxygen tank and a fanny pack."

The idea of doing the rib pain block has been put on hold for now because the doctor does not think that the risk (minor as it is) would be worth it right now if the new pain medications are significantly helping. He has gone ahead and reserved a spot for the procedure tomorrow at 3:00 PM just in case the plan changes. He explained that the pain block procedure is something that can be done as out patient surgery so it could be planned in the future if the pain is hard to manage again.

One thing that we failed to talk about in the blog yesterday is that Dr. Eaton , mom's Oncologist, has halted chemotherapy treatments at this time. Although her scan results came back "stable" with very minimal change, if any, he is concerned that she is too sick to undergo any other treatments at this time. His one and only goal at this time is to manage the pain. If things begin to improve and her strength and energy increase then we may discuss the idea of returning to chemotherapy in the future.

Thanks again for your care and concern for mom. I will continue to post updates to the blog as things change.

Angie

Changing of the Guards

I arrived at the hospital at 8:00 AM this morning to relieve Amy of her over-night stay with mom. When Shannon and I left the hospital last night mom was sleepy and sort of goofy from the Benadryl that they gave her to control her itchy skin (caused by her new pain medication.) It was nice to see her doing better this morning. She was sitting up and more coherent. Apparently, mom slept all night except for when the nurses woke her to receive pills or to nebulize with an inhaler. The new pain control plan seems to be more tolerable than the previous pain patch that they tried. She controls her pain by pushing a button and the pain specialists track her needed dosage. This should better help them establish a plan once she returns home.

Yesterday we were informed of a pain block procedure that is a possibility for her. The doctors all believe that this pain is caused from the pleura of her lungs being inflamed and irritated but they also realize that her pain feels fairly isolated to a spot near her ribs on the left side of her body. This proposed procedure would consist of basically numbing that rib and the rib above and below it. There is no guarantee that this will decrease the pain at all but it is the only option other than controlling the pain strictly by medication. We had no choice but to think of this in basketball terms... if this is an option and we chose not to do it because it might not work, it is like losing a close game with an un-used timeout. We just can't wrap our heads around it. So, we will take them up on this procedure if it is still a possibility when they return today.

At this time mom has finished breakfast and is sleeping soundly in bed. I am waiting patiently for the doctors to make their rounds and will be asking many questions when they come in. I plan to get mom up and out of bed as soon as I am given the green light to do so. I will update the blog later today when I know more.

Thanks for loving us from afar....

Angie

Quiet Time...

Here's the deal.... Dor is in lockdown, of sorts.

She came to Seattle today to get her CT scan results and she ended up being admitted to UW Medical Center to get her pain under control.  She has been assigned a "pain specialist" who will monitor her, and adjust her meds as needed.

Before you grab the phone or your car keys, please know that she is not allowed any visitors or phone calls at this time.  Amy & I will be updating the blog and checking her email account on a regular basis to keep everyone in the loop.  When she is awake we promise to share your well wishes with her.  If you need to contact our family please call one of our cell phones.  We have helpers staying at the house, running errands, and keeping up with the daily chores... but be assured that we will contact people if we need help.

She may be here for a number of days in order to establish a plan but we are fine with that.  We want to ensure that her quality of life increases when she gets home.

Please continue to send happy thoughts our way.

Dream Big-
Angie

Things are looking up...

Today was a better day for mom.  For the most part, she was awake.  She had some visitors and took some naps but overall she was alert and interacting with people.  When I arrived around 5:00pm she asked for Mac-N-Cheese and Diet 7-Up.  She ate all of her food and rarely asked for her lolipop of meds.  She no longer looked over-medicated.  Now she just looks comfortable, and that has been the goal all along.

Hopefully her body is getting used to the new pain patch.  I am taking the night shift tonight so hopefully it goes a little better than the shift Angie had last night. 

Hoping for peaceful rest and happy dreams-

Amy

P.S. We would like to send our thoughts to the family of Jill Costello... the 22 year old college student in California who passed away from LUNG CANCER yesterday.  I had the opportunity to meet Jill at Bonnie's event in San Francisco last November.  She was an inspirational young woman with a bright future.  Rest in peace as we continue to fight your fight.

Guessing Game

I woke up this morning hearing mom in pain trying to roll over in bed. I was worried because the pain patch was supposed to be in full effect by 8:00 am and it was around 8:20 by that point. After a little problem-solving we figured out that the patch had been knocked loose in the middle of the night when her arm was romping around. No pain patch = No pain relief. After a bath and a new patch being applied (this time on her chest with tape around it to assure it would stay on firmly) we waited the 12 hours for the meds to kick in. I know that the doctors are participating in a "guessing game" to figure out exactly how strong her pain patch should be, so for the first few days we are keeping a close eye on her every move. I am a little bit worried because she seems really medicated but still complains of pain. She spent nearly every moment of the day in bed and that is the opposite of what we are hoping this new pain plan will do for her. We want her out in the world making memories, going to Taco Tuesdays, shopping at her favorite stores and going for beautiful drives. If tomorrow brings another day of laying in bed all drugged up on these new meds then I will be having a talk with her Oncologist about making a change. I had to call the Cancer Care Alliance just before midnight tonight because mom was showing multiple signs of the side effects that were labled "potentially fatal" and I was not going to take any chances with her shallowed breathing during the night. Here it is nearly 1:00 AM and I feel like I just want to sit here by her and "stand guard." I know that the beast I am prepared to fight is cancer but I will be damned if I am going to go down without a fight!

Sweet Dreams Friends...

Angie

Pain, Pain... Go AWAY!

I got a call from Mom this morning telling me that the pain in her side was, "The worst pain I have ever had!" By the time she called me she had already contacted her Oncologist in Seattle by email and was waiting for a response about whether or not to come down for a visit. I called the Cancer Care Alliance too and  they told me to pack Mom an over-night bag and get her to Seattle. Our favorite caregiver (Kelly) got to Mom's house and had her bags packed and ready to go in minutes. The entire trip to Seattle Mom was a "10 out of 10" on the pain scale. I felt like I couldn't drive fast enough. After a wheelchair ride and a few doctors trying to get to the bottom of why her pain was so extreme Mom was introduced to her new friend the "pain killing lollipop". Within minutes she told us she was a "6 out of 10" and showed us how she could do side-bends without pain. It was crazy how fast her pain was eased. The final conclusion for the day was that she has not taken enough pain meds on a regular basis to stay on top of her pain. Therefore, she has had a poor quality of life lately and has gradually felt her pain increase. Her  new treatment plan for pain is a pain patch that distributes the medication for three straight days. This, along with her lollipop pain killers are supposed to keep her more comfortable. She will be having bloodwork and a CT scan next Tuesday afternoon (with results coming on Wednesday morning) to check on the cancer progression or lack there of. Unfortunatly we were reminded of the news that we are "At the bottom of the barrel for treatment options" so if the scan shows cancer progression then we will be talking about the possibility of starting with Hospice. As much as we loved and appreciated Dad's Hospice caregivers we don't eagerly await their return. As of now, let's pray that these new pain meds will do their job and get Mom's quality of life back. Then we can start the prayers for good scan results next week! Thank you for the numerous phone calls, cards and emails from friends and family. We greatly appreciate your support, even if we don't get back to you right away.

Dreaming of Painless nights (and days for that matter)-
Angie

Nancy's Birthday Wish

Our buddy Nancy had the opportunity to do a public service announcement for the American Cancer Society and she jumped on the opportunity (along with a few friends from her show).  She sent us a nice message telling us to watch for it because she did it in honor of Rick and Dor.  I googled the PSA and attached it above.

Thanks Nancy... we love you.

XO-
Amy

Good Morning... or is it night time?

On Monday my mom had chemo in Seattle. Vickie took her to the visit and returned her home to  get some rest about 3:00 pm or so. After I got out of school I went up to the house to check on her. She was sound asleep on the couch. I woke her and made her get into bed so she would be more comfortable. I stayed with her for a while, answered phone calls and eventually headed home. She was so exhausted that I was not sure that she would have remembered my visit so I left her a message telling her to call me later is she wanted. Later that evening around 8:30 pm she called. She started our conversation by saying, "I am such a dork." Apparently she was sleeping so peacefully that when she woke up she thought that she had slept all through the night and it was 8:30 AM on Tuesday. Because of that, she called my office at work and left her daily message saying, "Good morning Honey, I hope you have a good day at work. Call me at lunch time or whenever you get a break." She figured that her day-time caregiver would be arriving soon and that it was time to think about getting herself some breakfast. Then she realized that it was 8:30, but not in the morning. It was still Monday night and she was calling to tell me good morning. She had no way to erase the message so she called and warned me that it would be there when I got to school the next day. She apparently called Amy and did the same thing. She actually spoke to her on the phone and began their conversation by saying , "Good Morning Sweetie." The entire thing was really, really funny. The sweetest part of the entire thing is that even in times of extreme exhaustion or fatigue she still remembers to call and tell her children to have a good day or to let them know that she is thinking about them. That is love...real, unconditional LOVE.

The last two days she has been feeling a bit tired but is doing ok. My grandparents continue to stock the 'fridge with her favorite cherry yogurts because that is all that she ever craves to eat these days. They are great parents for her and I know she appreciates them so much. In case we don't tell you enough, thanks Grandpa Bob and Grandma Myrna for your support and errand running.

Living Strong-
Angie

Graduation Day

We've had a busy couple of weeks around the Schmitt household.  Jake and Megan, Angie and Shannon all bought houses.   Amy started her new full time job with the Air Force Counter Drug task force. ( She'll keep her job with the gambling commission...it's a great opportunity). 

This week I taste tested cupcakes for Morgan's wedding, attended Megan's final symposium for her doctorate (wow...she's smart), went to a retirement party (until I ran out of oxygen...I need to pay closer attention to details), then it's UW graduation today to watch Megan become a Dr. of Physical Therapy.  This afternoon and tomorrow I have 3 graduation parties to attend.  Monday is chemo.  Sounds odd that I need to have chemo just to slow down :)

I'd better get in the shower and start working on my beauty before we leave for Meg's graduation.

I've been feeling pretty good lately. A little more coughing than usual but I'm blaming that on all the action I've had lately.

Keep dreaming big,
Doreen

Doreen? Doreen Who?

Sometimes in life, there are just no excuses.  Like now, for instance.  I have no legitimate reason for not writing a blog in the past 10 days....but I am sorry if I made any of you worry.

We spent memorial day (and the days around it) at Desert Aire.  Visited with friends and family.  I gave away a scholarship in Rick's name on Tuesday to a deserving young man who lives in our community (Joe Eidsness)  We've been friends with his family for many years, Rick went to school with his dad you could tell it was an honor for their son to receive it.

I celebrated my 52nd birthday on Sunday.  Who would have know the importance of having a birthday every year?  I sure love them.  When I got home on Sunday, Megan took me to a movie then out for lunch. We had a very nice time.

Jake and Megan have been house hunting lately...along with Angie and Shannon.  They're both looking in different directions, but it's always exciting to put your feelers out for that dream home you've been waiting for.

Amy started her new job with the Air Force on Tuesday.  She has has a lot of responsibility with this new endeavor, but she's very excited to get started on it.

I'm not sure what's been going on with me the this last round of chemo, but I've never been so fatigued in my life.  I could sleep all the time (and it seems that I do).  I've have a low grade fever for the past 5 days and I'm just sick of feeling cruddy all the time.  I'm not sure what's going on with me, but I'm sure in the next couple of weeks I'll feel like my old self again.

The next couple of weeks are busy ones for our family.  We have 5 graduation parties to attend, Megan gets her doctorate, she has to give a symposium in front of a big crowd at the UW on Thursday, Jake gets his Master's degree (he says it's not nearly important as Megan's...but I still think it took hard work and dedication and should mean something).  After graduation, Meg, Jake and her family are all taking a trip to Maui for 11 days...REALLY....I'M NOT JEALOUS.  Envious maybe :)

Summer is just around the corner.  Enjoy every minute of it.

Dream Big,
Doreen

Stable is the word of the day

Just as I had planned, my CT scan showed that my lung cancer has remained stable.  I never doubted it.  I've been having a lot of pain on my left side so I asked them to look closely for a broken rib or something that could be causing this pain.  It appears that the lining to my lung (the pleura) is being irritated by my lung cancer and there isn't much we can do about it.  I'm ok with that.  It's always the unknown that I don't like.

Chemo went well, I got a vitamin B-12 shot for more energy (I get one every 9 weeks with this type of chemo) and I'm just a little extra tired tonight but that's nothing unusual. 

3 more weeks until I need to go back to the doctor's office (unless the fever comes back).  I'm feeling positive about this kind of chemo.  Very few side effects and it's keeping everything stable, and making my brain tumors better.  Sounds like a winning combination to me.

Love you more,
Big Dreamer Dor

I'm Back

I know many of you liked the fact that I was on vacation because you saw a blog nearly every night.  Now that I'm back home, I'm trying to face reality head on.  We returned home on Thursday night around 11:00pm (just in time to get enough sleep for Relay for Life the next day).  Amy dropped me off at the house on Friday morning and I was wiped out.  Luckily, I regained my energy and was ready to participate in Relay once again. 

I walked a few laps then settled under our canopy and visited with friends and family the rest of the night.  I had a hard time being at the event without Rick.  We've been a team for so many years (not just at relay, but in life).  Although  he wasn't there in person, we all felt his presence.  It was another successful Relay and we were all glad to be a part of it.  Thanks again to all my teammates who raised money and awareness to this horrible disease. 

Let me tell you about the rest of our trip.  On Wednesday, we toured the city again with Amy' friend Jessi (they played college soccer together), shopped at Quincy Market and Fanuiel Hall,  then met up with Lauren Amundson for a wonderful lobster dinner at the oldest restaurant in America.  We had a blast.

Our flights were smooth, we met up with old friends and laughed a lot.  I'm so happy that Amy asked me to go along on this journey with her.  It's a trip we'll never forget.

Tomorrow I start back on my daily grind.  I have a CT scan of my lungs (and hopefully we'll find out what is hurting on my left side in my rib area).  Then on Tuesday, it's chemo again.  I look forward to feeling good this week so we can enjoy Memorial Weekend. 

After my appointment on Tuesday, I'll let you all know how my appointment went.  I believe that the cancer in my lungs is "stable" and you know how much I like that word :).

Stay healthy & happy and don't forget to DREAM BIG,
Dor