Wednesday, July 20, 2011

It's Real

Real sick of cancer.  Real sick of being sick.  Real sick of hearing about sickness.

There.  I got that off my chest.  Now let's talk about the REAL stuff.  We all know that I've been the luckiest lung cancer patient around.  I've had more kinds of treatment than any of Dr. Eaton's other patients.  We've used every possible chemotherapy drug available at SCCA to keep my cancer from growing.  With that being said today's scan showed the cancer is progressing (now more in my right the past my left lung has been the worst).  So, we are going to give Tarceva another month to make a difference and if it doesn't work then I will go off it and my medical treatment will be over.  Today was the first time Dr. Eaton mentioned Hospice and we all gasped at the word.  Sounds life ending doesn't it?  Or, if you look at it from my perspective, perhaps life will just begin again for me.  I won't have to worry about scans and results.  I will just get to live my life with my friends and family doing all the things I love to do.  When my time is up (and none of us knows when that might be) I will have said and done all the things that are important. 

I took the kids out for lunch today after my appointment (though no one was very hungry) and we talked about having a Schmitt Family Summer Open House one day soon so I can visit with any and all of you who make a difference in our lives.  Keep watching for more details.

Don't be sad about this news.  Be thankful.  Thankful that I've outlived my prognosis.  And...remember, I don't listen to statistics anyway.  It's math and I don't do math.

Love you more,
Dreaming Big Dor


  1. Big Hugs to YOU and your entire family!

    Love you!!!

    ~ Kathy, Victor & Charlotte..Relay friends in Oregon

  2. More hugs coming from Oregon! Please know you and your family are in our hearts and thoughts- we'll Relay for you this weekend Doreen!

    Much love all around!!!

  3. Dear Dor, could I come hug you? Please keep us posted I would like to see you soon:)

  4. Doreen,

    You never cease to amaze me. Your words made me cry. Not only for sadness over today's news, but because you still want "us" to feel good, and not worry. My tears are over your incredible spirit and the example you have shown during this living hell you've endured. I can't imagine and know I would have waved the white flag, long ago.

    I understand you must be exhausted. I still pray for a miracle. But I "get it" that you want to enjoy LIFE and not sickness. Carpe Diem!!!

    I will continue to pray for healing, as well as inner peace. Do what you love, and know that you are loved by OH SO many!

    I love the idea of your open house! I am coming home from Hawaii in August and want to come. I will keep reading!

    Be brave my friend, and don't give up, but relax, rest and restore.

    With love and gratitude,
    Julie H.

  5. Dor,
    I've been following your posts for a couple of years now & I truly feel like I know you. While this post does sadden me, I know God is in control. I have prayed & will continue to pray for you and your family. You are one of the strongest women ever & you have an extraordinary family. Keep your head up & know, you are not alone. We all love and pray for you to live a long long happy life!

    Much Love from Tonya in NC

  6. Doreen, Hospice is wonderful, but here's wishing you the best with Tarceva first. I've read your blog for a few years now. I found it after my brother died after only three months of lung cancer. Reading your blog has been a delight, seeing a strong family and your amazing spirit sustain you well beyond what I could have imagined possible after my brother's experience. Godspeed.

  7. Doreen...I've been following your blog for a while and your spirit is so contagious. I can only imagine the frustration with this cancer that you must endure but your pleasure in living life is wonderful. If only we could all remember to truly live life instead of waiting for sickness to remind us of that. Much love goes to you and your family.


  8. Doreen, i have been following your blog for many years since my best friend was diagnosed with lung cancer. well, she outlived her diagnoses too - by 7 years. for the last 3 years she had no chemo or any radiation, just pain meds. she was breathless but felt well right till the end, when she died in her sleep a few months ago. i really believe a positive attitude coupled with a great support network like yours can work miracles. much love to you and your family.

  9. You continue to amaze me Doreen with your super-human courage and strength. Even on your toughest days you offer comforting words to those that know and love you and to the strangers that have come to know and love as you share this journey. What a brave and wonderful woman you are.

    Jana Swenson

  10. I, too, found your blog after my Mother-in-law was diagnoised with Lung Cancer in April 2010. Mom died 6 months later at the age of 74. My entire family knows I've been following your blog and they are always asking me how "Dor" is doing. We all feel like we've gotten to know you. I've truly been amazed at your spirit throughout this ordeal. You really have lived your life. You have been an inspiration to those who love you and to those of use who needed some inspiration. Thank you Doreen. God Bless and we will continue to pray.